Brian On Software

This review is for Leadership and Self-Deception, from the good folks at The Arbinger Institute. It was actually my pastor who lend me this book following a talk I had with him about leadership in life and business; and if you know something about church ministries, you’d know that if it’s good enough for a pastor (i.e. a leader), then it’s certainly good enough for you. So anyways, I took the book home, and one week later, my life has improved in both a personal and professional level. This book is about 170 pages long, and it is very easy to read, in other words, you won’t need a dictionary to lookup every fifth word.

In short, the story is written as a narration of a young and new manager at a world-renowned and respected corporation. This company, Zagrum, is the best in its market, because its results are driven by people who are themselves driven by other people, instead of being driven by their own ego. The concept of self-deception is portrayed as "being in the box". You get "in the box", when you betray yourself. In other words, self-betrayal gives you a free ride to self-deception. What this means is that once you’re in the box, you have trouble seeing the real problem (such as lack of communication, trust, respect, commitment, etc.) at hand, and even more trouble in finding a solution to fix it, because you are blind to see that the problem is not the other people, but yourself. How do you know this? The answer is simple: you see other people as objects, instead of people. And as you probably know, it’s hard to understand, speak to, listen to and learn from objects. People have needs, cares, fears and hopes. How to manage and influence people is at the core of leadership, and at the end of it all, your heart is the foundation of leadership.

Just to give you a glimpse of the material you’ll learn through this book, I’m including an excerpt that I found very helpful.

Here, Bud, an executive manager at the company teaches Tom, the new manager, that there is a difference between knowing the material and living the material (the material being knowing the truth between being in the box and out of the box):

Knowing the material

• Self-betrayal leads to self-deception and "the box."
• When you’re in the box, you can’t focus on results.
• Your influence and success will depend on being out of the box.
• You get out of the box as you cease resisting other people.

Living the material

• Don’t try to be perfect. Do try to be better.
• Don’t use the vocabulary – "the box" and so on – with people who don’t already know it. Do use the principles in your life.
• Don’t look for others’ boxes. Do look for your own.
• Don’t accuse others of being in the box. Do try to stay out of the box yourself.
• Don’t give up on yourself when you discover you’ve been in the box. Do keep trying.
• Don’t deny you’ve been in the box when you have been. Do apologize, then just keep marching forward, trying to be more helpful to others in the future.
• Don’t focus on what others are doing wrong. Do focus on what you can do right to help.
• Don’t worry whether others are helping you. Do worry whether you are helping others.

And finally, I had to include a powerful, yet so true message that I believe people in organizations (doesn’t matter their position, rank or title) should understand and remember daily:

"Tom," he said, putting his hands on my shoulders. "The thing that divides fathers from sons, husbands from wives, neighbour from neighbours – the same thing divides coworkers from coworkers as well. Companies fail for the same reason families do. And why should we be surprised to discover that it’s so? For those coworkers I’m resisting are themselves fathers, mothers, sons, daughters, brothers, sisters. A family, a company – both are organizations of people. That’s what we know and live by at Zagrum" (Page 168).

I am not a pro at writing book reviews, so the approach I’m taking is the same one I would expect someone to convince me to read a book. And since I’m a simple person, I am expecting simple results. So I hope this book review was simple enough to convince you to get this book from a public library, a book store or a friend’s desk. Trust me, you won’t regret it!